Shinagawa/Shinbashi Social Media Meet Cute

Credits to El as cowriter on this AU!

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Main CP	品/新
Cast	品 新 大

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• 新 who is the writer for a popular children’s cartoon.

• He has a bad habit of looking at all the discourse in the fandom and he ends up getting pissed off about it because fans are always misunderstanding his writing.

  新: The reader is fucking illiterate!

• He keeps doomscrolling bad takes on his 0 follower alt but there’s one account that consistently has correct takes (or as 新 will call it; basic reading comprehension.)

  • It’s 品.

• 新 also has a vent account where he screams about all the bad takes and pouts.

  • 大 is allowed (made) to follow it, but he only ever skims the 50-post long rants.

• He also tends to qrt 品 on priv, talking about how he’s the only one that’s fucking literate in his stupid ass fandom.

  • 大 will like the qrts because it’s 品.

• 品 keeps getting pissed off because clearly someone is dunking on him on priv!!

• 品 will complain to 大 sometimes about someone who keeps qrt-ing to dunk on him.

  • AND it’s on posts that have 0 likes because even his muties don’t agree with him.

• 大 won’t say shit to either of them. He’s not really interested in any of this and is just listening to be polite.

• 大 does always ask 品 if he’s sure this guy is being a hater and 品 just takes it as 大 not understanding social media.

• 大 hasn’t told either of them he knows the other.

• 新 will die of embarrassment if he ever finds out 大 knew his one literate fan this whole time.

• 大 isn’t enjoying any of this exclusive knowledge. He’s just trying to get on with his life.

  • He’s only interested in staying in his lane.
  • He doesn’t expect anything serious to ever come of it.
  • He’ll tell both of them to get off their phones and try a more relaxing hobby.

  品: Pluto is serious business.

  新: This isn’t a hobby. This is about the death of media literacy.

• 新 eventually sees 品 with 大 and it comes up that 品 is a huge fan and 新 is internally cringing because he’s so sick of talking to fans who can’t understand basic concepts in his work.

• 品 tries to be calm about the whole thing but he makes a comment that is actually what 新 intended and 新 just stares at him in complete shock.

  • 品 thinks he fucked up so fucking bad.

• He later mentions his social media without thinking and 新 asks about it (since he’s desperate to see some good fucking takes)

  • 品 panics and gives the username of the priv account that keeps qrt-ing.
    • 新 pissed off because that’s his damn username!

• 品 afterwards vague sad posting about meeting Pluto and he’s thinking of deleting every take he’s even made cause if anyone found out that Pluto himself thinks he’s an idiot they’re gonna drag him to shit.

  • He’s going to delete his Ao3. He’s going to orphan his fics. Thank you everyone who supported him over the years despite his failures.
    • This is how 新 learns he could have been reading fics by someone who actually understood his shows and now has to speed read them (not knowing he could download them for later.)

• 新 realises who it is and decides to make a public account to try and talk him out of it.

  • But that means becoming friends on social media.

• 品 is immediately suspicious of this brand new account that follows only him, has no followers, was made today, and its only posts are replying to him telling him he likes his takes.

  • It doesn’t matter what this random thinks!! Pluto says he’s wrong!!
    • Pluto did not say that.

品: Now I have two stalkers and Pluto thinks I’m a moron.

大, having been called an idiot but 新 many times: If he thought you were an idiot, you’d know.

品: Yeah, exactly!

• 新 is frustrated because the only hope for his fandom’s media literacy is spiraling and he has to stop it before his entire fandom are idiots.
  • The only way to meet with 品 would be through 大 or the detective agency.
    • 大 is out of the question.
• 新 tries to hire 品 to investigate something so that he realises 新 doesn’t think he’s an idiot.
• 新 trying to come up with a case 品 can solve.
  • . Not that one.

新: Oosaki-san is missing!

品: …

新: I mean my roommate, Oosaki-san.

品: SINCE WHEN WERE YOU ROOMMATES?

• 品 immediately annoyed that the great Pluto is taking time out of his day to make fun of him. 大 literally opened the door for him.
• And his brain is now locked on his senpai is fucking Pluto…
• Even after 新 explains, lost pets feel like a pity case for a baby detective.
  • Is that how 新 sees him? Because he doesn’t know how to decipher kids shows?
  • When he knows him better, he’ll understand the importance of his cats.
• 品 isn’t spiraling on main, but he’s making extremely vague posts because he’s been entrusted with important secret Pluto information.
  • 新 feels he’s fixed the issue.
  • Hasn’t any clue what 品 is talking about right now.
    • It’s Pluto/大 fanfiction.
  • 品 mixing in some real lovelorn posts.
• 品 sad he can’t post the photo he took with Pluto where they’re standing awkwardly apart and avoiding looking at each other.
• 品 goes over to 新’s house to gather information, but every time he says Oosaki-san’s name, the closet meows.
  • 品 starts interrogating 新 about how long poor Oosaki-san has been stuck in there.
    • About as long as 品 has been in the house.
  • 品 is holding Oosaki-san the entire time and slips him some kisses, feeling sorry for him and having his moment thinking the great Pluto might actually be a bad pet owner (?!)